computers

Computers don't make mistakes... until they
realise they have killed all the Humans.

∞

psychic

Who's Eunice and why doesn't she get her own body?

-Jane Lane. Daria.

∞

heals

What happened to your "come and get it" heals?

-Daria

∞

unseen

What we can see is only half of what there is.

-Ghost Whisperer.

∞

non-smoking

I'm addicted to not-smoking.

∞

cults

I don't join cults. I create them.

∞

birth

I wasn't born. I was designed.

∞

character

The measure of our character is not
determined by those who judge us,
but by those who love us.

∞

thinking

I have a question. Is that thinking? Stop it!

-a student

∞

acceptance

There is no shame in accepting your
failures, faults and short-comings.
Those things are part of you too.

∞

tarmac

If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions,
then what is the road to Heaven paved with?

∞

groups

Sorry, all my support groups have a one member limit.

∞

clutz

It's easy to be a clutz when
there is clutter everywhere.

∞

odd

I am not a creeper! I'm odd!

∞

channeling

I channeled Brahma when I
should have channeled Shiva.

∞

weight

I've weighed more. I've weighed less.
But, I have always been me.

∞

nonsense

It's not nonsense. It's no sense.

-Bob Miller

∞

façade

Damn it. She saw right through our facade of hopefulness.

-Daria

∞

suck-ups

I'm allergic to empty compliments and false appreciation.

∞

quitters

Everyday is a good day to quit.

∞

self

I'm the most self-interested person I know.

∞

renewal

In order to become something new,
we must destroy what we were.

∞

renouveler

Pour que nous renouvelions, il faut
détuire ce que nous étions.

∞

temperance

You're lucky I have my father's temperance.
If I were any more like my mother, I'd
punch you in the face.

∞

multimedia

Sorry, I only use mono-medium for my presentations.

∞

accent

When people from the South hear people
from the North speak, do they feel the
same way Northerners do when they
hear the British speak?

∞

shallow

Sometimes your shallowness is so
thorough it's almost like depth.

-Daria

∞

unity

Divided we stand.
United we fall.

-The Daily Show.

∞

edgy

I'm not being negative. I'm being edgy.

-Jane Lane. Daria.

∞

polite

I wish I had nice things to say.

∞

butter

I don't know what to do?!
Should I eat more butter?

-Amy. Futurama.

∞

wish

Sometimes I wish I were Wonder Woman
so I could spin around, change into something
fabulous, look gorgeous, be invincible and
save the day. But, I'll settle for being me.

∞

cyber-monday

A good technological fight always begins with
a club... preferably made of wood like
a baseball bat or something.

∞

fix

Me - On the bright side, there is chocolate.

Friend - really considering that i need
something stronger than chocolate. : (

Me - Oh [stunned face]... maybe you could
put the chocolate at the bottom of a glass of
something stronger. :-D

∞

squirrels

and in the morning of the sixth day, the Lords created
squirrels and saw that they were good... what they
created later that evening, not so good.
Oy, what a megillah [shakes head].

∞

plan

The Prophets have a plan for us. It's not
always easy to see what it is.

Kira Nerys. Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

∞

colonists

As Colonists, we spent our time fighting the British
and the Monarchy over high taxes and the abuse
of power. Then we declared ourselves a republic,
free and American and still we have high taxes
and abuse of power, [confused face]. So... why
was the Revolutionary War necessary again?

∞

conservative

You know, some of those right-wing conservative
nut-jobs are cute [lol] until they open their mouths
and all that stupid falls out.

∞

deadpan

In every scene she had two shades
of the same expression - deadpan
and deadpan with a thin smile.

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg. 213

∞

jesus

As the plain began barreling down the runway,
the woman sitting in front of me turned and asked,
'Have you found Jesus?' Jesus! I could have
punched her.... 'Jesus isn't lost,' I shouted at her.
'Mind your own fucking business!'

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg 211.

∞

farting

Naoko claims that folks of Japanese heritage
take pills so they don't fart. I've never asked
Freema her excuse.


John Barrowman. Anything Goes pg. 188.

∞

proof

You know, Uncle John, I'm straight, and if you think
about all the times when I was a kid that I've been
dressed up in women's clothing and made to sing
and dance, I've got proof that you can't turn someone gay.

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg. 172.

∞

piano

The changes she made to the choreography
were really very dangerous... I could have torn
a testicle, and then I'd never have been able
to play the piano again.

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg 163.

∞

penis

Except on some nights, I'd play the piano
perfectly with my penis. I kept this up,
so to speak, for a number of shows, until
I recieved a letter from Andrew Lloyd Webber's
Really Useful Group insisting I stop. Andrew wrote,
'Your penis my not upstage my music.'

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg 158.

∞

spooning

The second [surprising thing] was that right before
the final suit checks, one of the piolts got down on
his knees in front of me, pulled out a long hose that
ran the inside of my thigh and blew hard into it.
By the time the air was circulating round my G-suit,
I wanted to spoon with him.

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. pg 46.

∞

gran

'I'm John Barrowman's gran,' she walked right up to
the teacher and hit her across the back of the head
several times punctuating each slap with a word:
'Don't. You. Ever. Lift a hand. To a Wean. Again. Ye auld bitch.'

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. Pg. 34.

∞

bagpipes

The damn things [bagpipes] are impossible and I
could never get more out of them than sounded
like cats being strangled.

John Barrowman. Anything Goes. Pg 30.

∞

time

Hum... I know what The Orb of Time is
and The Web of Time, but not this Ocarina of Time.
Is it like a like a time-piece of sea mammals?

∞

obessession

And you diminish my obsession by saying "LOVE".
I don't "LOVE" Canada. I am "OBSESSED" with it...
like restraining order level obsessed. [twitch].

∞

4-D

I'm waiting for movies in 4-D that offer
a paradox-free trip back in time to before
the movie started to prevent myself
from seeing in case it's an epic failure.

∞

hug

A Canadian hugged me that's all that matters.

∞

iPod

I've willed everything to my iPod
in the event of my death. I've even
considered marsupial gene manipulation
to grow me pouch to keep it in
like a wombat or kangaroo.

∞

pretend

It's nothing putting on a fake smile and
pretending nothing is wrong won't "cure".

∞

boss

The boss doesn't bend. He only breaks.

∞

introvert

As an introvert, my happiness is contained within.

∞

question

I have an answer for any loaded question.

∞

mutual

If two people agree they love eachother,
then two people love eachother.

∞

disaster

Boobs and gay are part of nature,
but they are not directly responsible
for natural disasters.

∞

retarded

Oh Please. I spend half the day
trying to convince myself that
I am not retarded.

∞

unity

Divided we stand.
United we fall.

∞

alliterations

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but alliterations will never hurt me.

-Dr. Knox. Doctor Who -Assassin in the Limelight.

∞

beliefs

In fact, I've always found that when people try
to convince others of their beliefs, it's because,
they're really just trying to convince themselves.

-Kira Nerys. Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

∞

now

Do you best even if you aren't at 100%.
Don't give in to wild tangent thoughts.
You are here. This is now. Live in the moment.

∞

fugh

I just came up with a new word, "fugh".
It's like "ugh" but with a silent "fuck" at the beginning.

∞

synagogue

My ancestors were NOT Neanderthals.
They were Rosenthals. The Neanderthals
went to the OTHER synagogue.

-Rachel Kinsey

∞

humour

Be with people who have a sense of humour.
Some people have no sense of humour, and
frankly... they pretty much suck... always
looking down their noses at you and your
"crudeness" as if they have never
farted a day in their life.

∞

esperanto

The TARDIS allows me to understand
any language, human or alien. Except
for Esperanto, which for some reason,
it's never been able to get the hang of.

-Doctor Who: A Thousand Tiny Wings.

∞

english

I totally hate having to say,
"Don't worry, it's in English".

∞

appreciation

Stephen Hawkin's voice-modulator
expresses more appreciation than my boss.

∞

magic

I stole a magical instrument from
a mythical being the other day.
It shoots sunshine and happiness
into a persons life. Only one draw back.
It works rectally.

∞

eat

If it's in your mouth, you are eating it.

∞

occupation

Giving me a name tag that read
"Elim Garak former Cardassian Opressor"
was hardly polite.

-Garak. Ds9

∞

parallel

I haven't seen Eclipse... but I haven't seen
what came before it either. I'd say I am behind
the times, but I'm sure I'm running parallel to it.

∞

blood

My blood runs green like any true Vulcan.

∞

monday

Monday [dramatic pause], you better be
fucking fabulous, with glitter and everything,
or I will go all Joan Crawford on you.

∞

translation

Got a Cat-to-English dictionary the other day.
She has been saying, "Death to the two-legs!".

∞

cigarette

Honey, you're like a cigarette to me.
I can always get a new one.

∞

path

The path the Prophets laid out for us
isn't always easy. That's no reason
to turn to hate and fear.

-Kira Nerys. DS9

∞

children

Children should be seen and not heard
and preferably not seen.

-Mr. Granger. Are you being Served.

∞

fabulous

Absolutely Fabulous isn't a British
television program. It's a way of life.

∞

110

01001000 01100001 01010000 01010000 01111001
01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001
01000100 01100001 01111001

Happy Binary Day!

∞

010

01001000 01100001 01010000 01010000 01111001
01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001
01000100 01100001 01111001

Happy Binary Day!

∞

tax

A tithe is just another word for tax.

∞

entropy

I am a minion of entropy in the Universe.

∞

disco

Disco never died. It gave birth.

∞

reality

It's a sort of crooked optimism you
only find in upside down realities.

∞

chocolate

There's always chocolate.
Chocolate never leaves you.

∞

evil

He who studies evil is studied by evil.
-Bajoran proverb

∞

innocent

Yes, I am innocent, but I'm not stupid!

∞

healing

What if the evolutionary outcome
of the use antibacterial hand-soaps
were the ability to heal by touch.
[gratuitous Vulcan eye-brow raise]

∞

101

01001000 01100001 01010000 01010000 01111001
01000010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001
01000100 01100001 01111001

Happy Binary Day!

∞

wisdeom

See life through the eyes of a child,
then you become truly wise.

∞

heart

The time has come
to allow your heart
to guide you.

∞

courage

The greatest test of courage on Earth
is to bear defeat without losing heart.


∞

nature

You are contemplative and analytical by nature.

∞

integrity

With integrity and consistency
your credits are piling up.

∞

grounded

Keep your feet on the ground even
though your friends flatter you.

∞

master

You are the master of every situation.

∞

supression

Suppressing a moment of anger
may save a day of sorrow.

∞

kind

A single kind word will keep one warm for years.

∞

leader

The leader seeks to communicate
his vision to his followers.

∞

point

Get to the point and keep it clear and simple.

∞

goal

You can only be happy when you are
in the process of achieving a goal.

∞

smart

You are truly smart.

∞

change

Everybody loves progress,
but nobody likes change.

∞

skill

Skill comes from diligence.

∞

finish

Anyone can start, only the thoroughbred will finish!

∞

travel

It is sometimes better to travel
hopefully than to arrive.

∞

school

School is a building which has
four walls with tomorrow inside.

∞

enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is contagious. Not having
Enthusiasm is also contagious.

∞

prophecy

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

∞

winners

Winners expect to win in advance.

∞

learning

You will learn something new every day.

∞

opportunity

When one door closes, another opens.

∞

thought

Writing is thinking on paper.

∞

love

To love and be loved is like feeling
the sun from both sides.

∞

flattery

Listening, not imitation, may be
the sincerest form of flattery.

∞

friends

You will always be surrounded by true friends.

∞

surprise

A pleasant surprise is in store for you.

∞

action

Don't spend your time stringing and tuning
your instrument. Start making music now!

∞

talent

You will soon discover your hidden talent

∞

spring

Spring! Time to say goodbye
to Winter's mucous!

∞

self

We cannot be less than who we were,
but we can be more than who we are.

∞

love

Love is only as hard as your heart.

-Shane Orth

∞

war

War always finds a way.

-Anon


∞

Krieg

Der Krieg findet immer einen Ausweg.

-Anon

∞

math

Customer - I'm just doing the math in my head.
Clerk- I've heard that's dangerous.

∞

ground-hog

As longs as he stays off my property,
I won't have to pour kitty-litter
down his hole.

-Dad

∞

survival

In America, it is just easier financially
to get sick and die rather than to get
the care or cure you need to survive.

∞

red-state

Now I remember! Florida is a Red-state!
They don't know how to think! Duh!

∞

proselytization

Why can't we give hope without fear?

∞

playdough

Playdough is really good as
the bun and the burger.

∞

god-given

If you think owing a gun is
a "god-given" right, then
your head is full of shit.

∞

risks

This is not a day to take risks.
Diplomacy rules today.


∞

money

Money is gratifying, not satisfying.

∞

MLK

In death, we offer the acknowledgment
of the man and his dream that we denied
him in life. In his grave, we praise him for
his decency - but when he walked among
us we acted with no decency of our own.

-Rod Serling. Creator of The Twilight Zone
concerning Martin Luther King Jr.

∞

prejudice

The singular evil of our time is prejudice.

-Rod Serling. Creator of The Twilight Zone.

∞

qe2

Never pass up the opportunity to
be photographed with the Queen.


∞

spring

I realised Spring was here the other day
when an emaciated, suicidal squirrel,
who probably has a crack addiction,
ran out in front of my car...
that and a nagging allergy.


∞

subtitles

David Bouchard: [surprised] You speak French?

Martin Ward: No, not really. I had a small gadget
installed in my brain and I see subtitles
under people when they speak.

Bon Cop Bad Cop.

∞

gift-shop

Customer - Ain't this a Hobby Shop?
Employee - No. This is Hell's Gift-shop.

∞

amber

Amber coloured glass never goes out of style.

∞

wallpaper

Gosh. I remember that hideous wallpaper.
Now that I am reminded, I'm terrified
knowing it's still there just all walled up now.
I should go drink until I forget about it.

∞

debbie

So I killed. So I maimed. So I destroyed
one innocent life after another. Aren't I
a human being? Don't I yearn and ache
and shop? Don't I deserve love and jewelry?

∞

addams

Debbie - Where do you find these Addam's men?
Morticia - It has to be damp.


∞

-23

An older man said today that something was
a certain way for him fifty years ago when he
was my age. The only thought that came
into my mind was that fifty years ago,
I was negative twenty-three years old.

∞

closed-system

If you create crap to put into it,
it will become crappy.

∞

manhood

A penis makes you male, not a man.

∞

cat

Giving a book is like giving a cat,
no one really wants it.

∞

chat

Donner un livre c'est comme donner un chat,
on ne le veut pas vraiment.

∞

inner-voice

If I use my inside-voice, a lot
of people are going to die.

∞

flair

She's a crafty girl [Dave]. She's like a New Castle
McGiver but with glitter and flair.

- James E.

∞

8+

I don't accept drinks from strange humans.
Also I'm not gay.

- Gary the Cylon.

∞

blame

I blame the American Revolutionary War.
Huge mistake!

∞

war

Love is the only war worth dying for.

-Shane Orth

∞

money

Money is gratifying
not satisfying.

∞

big-mistake

You shoot at the Queen, you better kill her.

∞

humanity

If the monkeys pressed the area
with the different colored tabs,
the animals got a grapejuice reward.

-Science News. Pg. 42. 10/10/09

∞

sing

Upon threat of reading, students prefer to sing.

∞

delicious

You don't give funnel cakes to ducks.

∞

hobby

Hobby is Greek for repeat customer.

∞

help

Praying is asking.
Meditating is waiting.

∞

marshmallow

Mmm, these marshmallows are crunchy.

-Mom.

∞

opinion

That guy next to you is hot, eh?

∞

blending

Awe! :) I think we are blending into one.

-Verti

∞

8

That is going on my 8 words blog!!!!

∞

sunday

Bill - Sunday begats Monday...sigh.

Me - I think it's time Sunday started
sleeping around with other days.


∞

tequila

I've gotta find the ladies room.
It's true what they say,
you don't buy tequila,
you rent it.

-Karen Walker.

∞

inflection

By your inflection I can tell that you think
what you're saying is funny, but... no.

-Karen Walker.

∞

fml

Is it the bent-over fml, or the heals in the air fml?

∞

senator

He's a married, conservative republican,
he's going to have a homosexual,
public-toilet scandal sooner or later.
They all do.

∞

shagged

You are being shagged by a rare parrot!

-Stephen Fry.

∞

emergency

You better call the police because I'm
about to have a psychiatric emergency.

∞

film

Please stay away from sharp instruments for
at least three weeks after viewing this film
and do not operate heavy equipment.

-Crow. MST3K.

∞

dialogue

Well the music's terrible but at least
it's drowning out the dialogue.

-Crow. MST3K.

∞

langage

Le langage avait certainement été un facteur essential.
Mais pourquoi les singes parlaient-ils et pas les hommes?
Les opinions des singes savants divergeaient sur ce point.
Certains voyaient là une mysterieuse invention divine.
D'autres soutenaient que l'esprit du singe tenait avant
tout à ce qu'il possèdait quatre mains agiles.

-La planète des singes, page 94.

∞

attitude

je repris mon attitude d'animal intelligent.
I resumed my intelligent animal attitude.

-La planète des singes, page 90.

∞

reading

If it's worth reading, it's worth reading in French.

∞

lecture

S'il vaut de lire, il faut le lire en français.

∞

spanish?

Is everybody in here taking Mexican?

-Student on who's taking Spanish classes

∞

scores

Your test scores maybe less than stellar,
but at least your feet are still on the ground.

₪

scissors

Theses aren't like "screwin'-around" scissors!

-Student about scissor size.

₪

lovemaking

No, honey. Like lovemaking, this is
something best done by myself.

-Karen Walker.

₪

words

I know what GUILT is. Its one of those
touchy-feely words that people throw
around that don't really mean anything.
You know, like "maternal" or "addiction".

- Karen Walker

₪

taylor

Odo - I didn't know you spoke Klingon.

Garek - Oh! You'd be surprised about the things
you learn when you're doing alterations.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

₪

progress

You're never too old to change,
just too stubborn.

₪

depression

Sometimes you need to swim against the current...

₪

operator

She's disguised as Lisa, our Time Life operator.

- Crow. MST3K.

₪

apocalypse

So Drew Carey's archnemesis,
Mimi, survives the Apocalypse.

- Crow. MST3K.

₪

distopia

For some reason Vermont became
the epicentre of distopia!

- Servo. MST3K.

₪

lying

You know, sometimes I think
I lie because I'm evil.

- Pearl Forrester. MST3K.

₪

judgmental

Mike - Why are you so evil Pearl?

Pearl - Hum. I'm filled with hate.
I don't know if that helps.
You know, Mike, people can be
awfully judgmental about evil.


- Pearl Forrester. MST3K.

₪

0

It's supposed to get down to absolutely zero,
so that's why I always wear a sweater.

- Pearl Forrester. MST3K.

₪

holidays

i hate fax machines, banks, washing machines,
dirty laundry, markers, crayons and anything
that has to do with crafts, and anyone baking
christmas cookies can kiss my a**.

-Jeanine R.

₪

chairs

Speaking of chairs, you look like a fun place to sit.

-Karen Walker.

₪

H1N1

You can't get swine flu from cute animals.

₪

justification

Every bitch has her reasons.

₪

renewal

At the risk of sounding like Ms. Cleo,
I would stress that starting,
renewing or ending something is best
executed in kindness.

₪

wine

Two glasses of wine has me feelin' fine.

- Heather M.

₪

verse

I love how you write
emails in the form of
poetic prose. Short
lines, to the point, as if
to scorn verse.

₪

quitters

Don't give up. Just do it half-assed.

₪