validation

My new parking pass gives me some sense

of validation as a sub... standard employee.

∞

bullies

I let bullies bully me. It doesn't bother me.

I let them because I knew they were worse off.

∞

liberation

Open your heart and mind to be free.

∞

gossip

Gossip: a violation of confidence, privacy and trust.

∞

wassup?

The ass end of my wine bottle. That's what's up!

∞

horoscope

My horoscope left me totally unprepared today.

-Trix

assholism

Assholism happens.  It is both genetic and learned.

∞

simple

Three is two plus one.

∞

sense

Talk less.  Say more.

∞

answers

There really are only two answers.

WD40 or Duct-tape.

∞

decision

The right decision may be too

absolute to be a good decision.

∞

statement

I have nothing to say but this statement.

∞

lying

At some point in our lives, we all learn

to lie and manipulate.  It's part of being

human.  But, we also have a choice

whether or not to live out lives as a

lying manipulative bastard.

∞

chicken-stick

He needs to start using his fingers

to get it started.  It only hurts for a little bit.

-Justin

∞

evolution

A side effect of human intelligence is

the heightened ability to annoy others.

∞

appearances

I'd rather be mean than walked over.

∞

florida

Florida is God's waiting room.

∞

florida

If there's one thing worse than

Chlamydia, it's Florida.

-Olive. Easy A

∞

polite

I'm not always helpful or polite, sir.

∞

prayers

They say, "The Lord provides".  If that were true,

I'd have a million dollars.  No somethings

you have to do yourself.

∞

returns

If you haven't seen it there all year long,
don't buy it at Wal-Mart.

∞

life

Life isn't always cheese and crackers.

Sometimes it's nuts.

∞

crayons

He may not be the brightest crayon

in the box, but he is the sexiest.

∞

jobs

My people don't quit.  We get fired.

∞

masculinity

Oh please, next to you,

I'm a six foot tall talking vagina.

∞

grosseur

Ma grosseur de stress est de retour.  Ca montre?

∞

fat

My stress fat is back.  Does it show?

∞

certificate

I'm gonna change my birth-certificate to "adopted".

∞

civilised

For civilisation to survive, the human race

has to remain civilised.

- Rod Serling

∞

hump-day

I need a Marine Sergeant to drill me.

∞

comfort

I'm an American.  I don't share your

English hatred of comfort.

-Lady Cora Grantham. Downton Abbey.

∞